We can so often access a new understanding of our relationship with God by referencing what we know from our human relationships, at least when those relationships are at their very best. Prayer is the communication in a relationship. Let’s reflect on “Article 1: Expressions of Prayer”(read it online here) in the fourth section of the Catechism. In it, three forms of prayer are outlined: vocal, meditative, and contemplative. It occurred to me as I read this for the first time that these forms of prayer are mirrored in the ways my husband and I communicate with each other. I can use this very human experience to help me understand what God is wanting from me in our own times together in prayer. Communication weaves together lives, minds, and hearts, here on earth in our relationships with others; prayer does the same between us and our loving Father, through Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Vocal Prayer, A Lively Exchange
First of all, vocal prayer. It’s the easiest to understand, and by far the most common form of communication in a relationship. The Catechism says that vocal prayer is “external and thoroughly human” and is “internalized to the extent that we become aware of him ‘to whom we speak’” (CCC 2704) This distinction is an important one, between the friendly mindless banter we perform during tasks like cooking dinner (which is almost subconscious in a relationship as comfortable and long-term as my husband’s and mine), and real talking, where we actually stop whatever we’re busy doing and take time to ‘become aware’ of each other’s personhood and respond to it. The former is affectionate and born of friendly regard, whereas the second is loving, and builds deeper connection, even when it is about practicalities like what we’re going to do with our evening, asking for help with a chore, or inquiring whether the bills have been paid. This is a way of weaving our lives together. This kind of conversation, just like this kind of prayer, should be frequent, and can include others—family, friends—as well as just the two of us.
Meditative Prayer, A Meeting of Minds
Second, meditative prayer. I would compare this kind of prayer to the way my husband and I relive memories together, talk seriously about our dreams for the future, dig deep into relationship issues or personal struggles, or study spiritual things together. These are times of weaving our minds together. We learn so much about each other and ourselves during these times of quiet reflection and interaction. With this kind of prayer, we are learning about God as He reveals Himself to us, but because He already knows everything about us as we reveal ourselves to Him, He is teaching us about ourselves: Christ’s love “fully reveals man to himself” (Gaudium et spes 22). It is in these times that we “deepen our convictions of faith, prompt the conversion of the heart, and strengthen our will to follow Christ” (CCC 2708).
Contemplative Prayer, A Communion of Hearts
Third, contemplative prayer. The Catechism quotes St. Teresa as saying that this form of prayer “means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us” (CCC 2709). This is the deepest and most intimate kind of communication, and between even the closest lovers is a relatively rare gift, because it requires both parties to be on the same wavelength at the same hallowed moment, intensely focused on solely each other to the exclusion of self-awareness. The focus on the other is so rapt that for that fleeting moment, nothing else exists, and words seem too small or seem to get in the way. Rather than attempting to communicate something verbal or intellectual, we are communing. “Contemplation is a gaze of faith, fixed on Jesus” (CCC 2715), a focus on Christ so intense that it becomes a renunciation of self. This type of communication is a weaving together of hearts. Our heavenly Father’s gaze is always fixed raptly upon His beloved children. Contemplative prayer is “a gift, a grace; it can be accepted only in humility and poverty…[it] is a covenant relationship established by God within our hearts… a communion in which the Holy Trinity conforms man, the image of God, to his likeness” (CCC 2713). This kind of prayer is a foretaste of the Beatific Vision and is the type of union for which we long above all.
May the Lord grant each of us the grace to grow in our conversations with Him.
